Witness the stunned look of the people passing by when they realize they have
pushed their carts down an aisle of…

The lost world.

To see more fantastic creatures, go here!

http://jerrylentz.blogspot.com/2011/07/today-it-rained-and-stormed-little-so....

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My friend is always trying to get me to use a neti pot to flush out my sinuses, but the ones at WalMart are almost $30. She found this Aleister Crowley Neti Pot at a church thrift store for $6.66 so she just had to get it for me!

Ate a plate of salmon, corn, rice and chips with sweet hot salsa while watching the film, "Aleister Crowley: The Wickedest Man in the World" and was surprised how much I look like him when he was 29 years old. Two separate times in the past I've been asked to portray him in his younger years. Never did though.

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/aleister-crowley-wickedest-man-world/

Wow! Some people have married, argued during the ceremony and immediately got divorced! I guess once you know it isn't working... You gotta just cut your losses and move on!

http://www.weirduniverse.net/blog/permalink/the_shortest_marriages_ever1/

My first divorce was so easy! It was fast, too! One person I know had a divorce that took almost a whole year, maybe more! I didn't have kids and it's another reason to add to the ever growing and long list of reasons I should be glad I don't have kids. It's funny... It seems easier to buy a gun than get a divorce. Hmmm...

How old, do you think, is too old for a woman to have a baby?

How old, do you think, is too old for a man to father a child?

What is your best way to deal with difficult, sickly, conceited with regard to the merit of their own opinions and slightly stuck up teens? I'd say ignore them, right? If you were trapped in an enclosure with them, what would you do to survive?

The medication I've been taking has given me the unusual affect of photophobia. It is painful for me to be out in daylight or any mildly bright light. It actually hurts to turn lights on. While I was hanging upside down on my inversion table, I was suddenly faced with the horrifying thought that I am a vampire without the glitter.

I was driving Jack the Cat crazy with the laser pointer. He was running up and down the stairs, getting all sweaty chasing that red dot, then he looks at my hand holding it and then looks me right in the eye, tilts his head and gives me a deflated, "Are you fucking kidding me?" look.

He's so smart!

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I was being give a CT Scan and the Doctor said, "The Rapture is within you!"

It was a long night of horrible and disturbing dreams. Today I think maybe the
dream-mind was playing games with me, "Rapture/Rupture/Rape Her/Rash/Eruption"
my mind is so full of craziness!

I don't know if it's the weather or something I've been doing, but I've got dry
skin on my elbows, knees, my lips and my penis. Tried everything from Gold Bond
Ultimate® Soothing Skin Therapy Lotion to Astroglide Personal Lubricant. I've
been drinking lots of water! Well, the water I use in mixed drinks, so I can't
be dehydrated. I'm at a loss here, anyone else getting all ashy and peeling?

Maybe it's all the smooching, hugging, bumping and rubbing I've been getting?
No, wait… That was a dream I had. Hmm… I suppose it's the weather that has
brought me this dry skin affliction.

I still have a ways to go to being old and flaking, being that my B'day is 11
days away on May 29th and I'll just happen to be 29 years young! But I
understand what you might mean, by incorrectly thinking I'm getting old and
shriveled.

But if you now feel bad for thinking I was OLD, you can make it up by giving me
a B'day Gift! This link will also work if you don't feel bad, oh and it's good
for wedding gifts as well!

http://www.walmart.com/giftregistry/gr_detail.do?registryId=80501141124

Many people wonder how I could lower myself to marry Jessica with the way she
treats me, then there are those few that think I'm being mean to her with all my
teasing, but the truth is, she's fantastic, sweet, smart and amazing. I'm just
being a silly bad boy that tries to protect my emotional investment in her by
making her look bad and unattractive to any possible male that might be smitten
by her sexually, or any male I find threatening to my very weak ego and low self
confidence. I only tease in hopes of receiving spankings.

I'm very aware of the benefits of marrying, Jessica! I get down on my knees, bow
my head and thank the good sweet Lord Jesus Christ every night that she came
back into my life. Maybe that's why my knees are chaffed and my back hurts, but
those are such small prices to pay to have such a shining light warm my heart
and stimulate my mind. Even all her children add to the benefits I will receive,
why just today Marilyn so thoughtfully thanked me for getting her an Oreo Blast
from Sonic! That is rare, because usually my gifts to them are so thought out
and chosen with such care, that when the get them, they are so stunned they are
incapable of saying anything.

Most of the time the girls just simmer, mope, roll eyes, sigh and then explode
at me.

It was on May 18, 1980, that Mount St. Helens volcano in Washington State
exploded in a cataclysm that sent ash 12 miles into the air, and left 57 people
dead. Where were you when you heard the news?

On this day in 1897, a public reading of Bram Stoker's new novel Dracula was
staged in London. How will you celebrate this important and horrifying date in
history?

This lady seems all right! If I had a load of money I would love to help people
in need. When someone asks me what I would do if I won millions of dollars, my
first thought isn't ever what I would give myself, but what cool things I would
do to make people smile and laugh and have a break from hard times. Boy, I hope
I get some big money!

Schwarzenegger admitted he squirted babycake batter into a member of his
household staff. Maria Shriver left him. It's sad that some wives don't find
this behavior appealing. Wouldn't a woman that loves science, biology and her
man's semen enjoy knowing her man was masculine, potent and capable of sticking
it in anything that moves? I too, want to have kids, but probably not until I
can afford a household staff.

When I mentioned this to Jessica, she said she was too busy to make a comment,
then slammed the door in my face. I'm pretty sure it was a gust of wind that did
it. It was windy today, and I think her power also went out because I kept
ringing the doorbell and I guess she never heard it. The wind also may have
damaged the cellphone towers, because it kept going to her voicemail whenever I
called her. I hope it's not this windy come our wedding day, but it just might
storm over our party!.

I posted an ad that I hope all Christians who are waiting for the May 21st,
Judgment Day Rapture will kindly respond to, because I sure would like to
provide my new wife with some sweet wedding gifts! Please share!

http://dothan.craigslist.org/zip/2387224331.html

Craigslist emailed me and said they removed my ad (yet it seems to still be
there) because it had been flagged as inappropriate. People just love using that
word "Inappropriate" in regards to me. I'm getting sick of it. I wish people
would find a new word for me!

I now suggest to all my female friends that they should be removing Libya from
their summer vacation locations! This shit shouldn't be tolerated by any man on
this planet!

http://www.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/africa/05/17/libya.rapes.icc/index.html?hpt=T1

One margarita on the rocks, salt on the rim, one Trazodone, a few puffs on part
of a sweet fat OG Pure Equatorial Sativa, followed with a Oreo Sonic Blast
chaser... I'm about to call it a day!

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Have to go move my car off the side of the road because the neighbors are having big work trucks moving in, I thought while I was in the car I'd go to Sonic and get myself a treat so I could take my medication on a less than empty stomach. I was wondering if you ever tell your partner you are going to do one thing, but actually use the excuse to go get a snack somewhere?

I'm learning all sorts of cool new info that's just getting released. Also, I'm learning new things about the medication I'm now taking. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WANNqr-vcx0

Took a new sleeping pill last night. The thing is... It just started working. I can't keep my eyes open.

Just discovered a cool and possibly dangerous (to others) side effect my new sleeping pills has on 33% of cases studied; "...a potentially harmful medical condition in which the erect penis does not return to its flaccid state (despite the absence of both physical and psychological stimulation) within about four hours." Guess I won't be accidentally rolling out of bed during my sleep!

Looks like the effect of the jokes made at his expense at the annual White House Correspondents' Dinner and "The Apprentice" getting interrupted by Osama Bin Laden's alleged killing has made his poll numbers plummet leaving Donald Trump to "(You're)...Fire(d!)" himself from being a 2012 presidential candidate... How has this news made you feel?

Dang! This story makes it way more disturbing than ever before. It's like those Nazis were into everything!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1386999/Stalin-Joseph-Mengele-Nazi-je...

Released FBI Files Say 8,000 Cows Mutilated During the '70s and I don't just mean at McDonald's!
http://www.forbiddenknowledgetv.com/videos/ufos--extraterrestrials/fbi-files-...

Stephen Hawking: 'There is no heaven, it's a fairy story' What about Fairies?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2011/may/15/stephen-hawking-interview-there...

There must be a good reason, right? Like maybe Jack the Ripper was Royalty?

Scotland Yard fights to keep Jack the Ripper files secret! http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/8514000/Scotland-Yard-fights-to-keep-Jack-the-Ripper-files-secret.html

Jessica said, "Maybe the killer is still alive! Why else would it matter? I think I've solved the mystery as to why they don't want to release it - if they tell who the murderer is, people still trying to solve the crime all these years later won't bring their tourism dollars to London!"

She is so smart! Sadly, Jessica revealed her IQ to me and it was like 15-25 points higher than mine. I knew she was smart and I used to like that, but since she told me the score, I can't get it out of my head. It's like knowing your girlfriend makes way more money than you, or it's like finding out your penis isn't as big as you thought it was. I wonder if I can live with this information? Sometimes I think there is information should be classified and suppressed from the general public!

For more cool stuff and information that just may affect the way of life you are living, or maybe just make you laugh, please visit these links now:

http://jerrylentz.blogspot.com/2011/05/jessica-jerry-wedding-registry-why.html

http://jerrylentz.blogspot.com/2011/05/i-witnessed-madness-of-woman-with.html

http://jerrylentz.blogspot.com/2011/05/jessica-can-make-me-laugh-like-no-one....

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After listening to my Wedding Music Mixtape, songs that were like soundtracks to
our lives, songs with special meanings, songs that speak to us as examples of
who we are, songs that are like slices of our psyche and define us... I found it
slow, dull, monotonous, droning, depressing... Except for the happy, fun,
upbeat, positive and danceable songs Jessica picked. What does this say about
me?

I got fed up with it! I had over 3 hours of music and I just hit delete! I give
up! Everyone should just bring their iPods or their mp3 players and play
whatever crap they wanna hear. I mean, it's everyone's wedding isn't it?

The thrill is gone for me. I hardly see Jessica. I saw her more when I lived in
Missouri. Seriously, I saw her every night on Skype. We had fun. I had fun with
her kids who really enjoyed talking with me back then, but that's all changed. I
should have stayed on Skype. Life was better then. Now it's long stretches of
boredom broken up with deep depressive thoughts of running away and even
suicide. My quality of life is horrible. I can't really see it getting better.

I keep looking at bus tickets and prices to other countries and bigger cities. I
want to get lost somewhere and try to find myself again. Why have I put myself
in a situation where I'm going to be such a small insignificant part of someone
else's busy and populated life? I wanted someone I could focus all my attention
on and spend time with, but I'd like that in return as well. That's not too much
to ask, is it? Am I too greedy? I suppose I'm used to being with young, single,
childless women who have never been married who love spending time with me, this
is a new experience and it is one that I'm sure will be difficult for me.

I know her children, pets, work, relatives and Facebook Friends come first. I
know that. I must get used to it. It's just difficult for me when a person asks
a question and as I'm answering it, they look off to the side to answer a
question their child has interrupted me to ask. I've begun talking and
interacting in conversations less and less. I get off the phone first. I used to
try and fill those uncomfortable silences in conversations, but not anymore, I
can let the silence go on and on, for hours sometimes. I used to want hugs
goodbye when I was leaving, now I just go without saying, "Bye!"

I can find others that want to talk, want my hugs, want to listen… I just hope I
don't end up somewhere rural where there's no one around to get those needs met,
or I really will be spending all my time meeting people online, or watching
sports, or playing videogames.

I know her ex-husbands will always be in the picture. When I was at a garage
getting my car worked on, I mentioned her name to the owner and she was on the
phone telling me to use her married names, so I had to repeat her name with all
the other last names she's had and the guy looked at me strange like I was
listing off her aliases. Then he recognized she was married to a guy he knew and
he went off describing him and the type of vehicle her drove and the kind of
service his car needed. That was nice.

Yesterday, we were talking about her taking my last name and I said, "I don't
think you should do it. It will just be a lot of trouble changing everything
over… Banks, DMV, Insurance, Restraining Orders..."

She acted surprised. I mean where's it end? Then when the next guy comes along
she'll have to change it again. I'm sure Elizabeth Taylor thought each marriage
was the one she always wanted, but after a while it gets kinda silly to keep
changing the name. Who came up with that anyway? I told her just keep The Palmer
name. Her youngest kid uses it, so it's a good sounding name. There doesn't have
to be another Lentz in the world.

It's like my car. My car is old, beat up, falling apart, but if I replaced
everything on it that needed to be fixed… It'd be cheaper to get a new car. At
some point you got to realize, I can keep changing the name of the car to Rolls
Royce, or Oldsmobile, but it will still be a used Honda Civic. It's like having
the same term of endearment for everyone you have dated and or married. If you
just call everyone, "Baby" or "Pussycat" it saves time having to learn something
new.

I thought I might've had to go camping last night. I was about to lose the room
I've been crashing in, but it all turned out okay, besides I need to get some
OFF because I've been getting eaten up by mosquitoes lately. I hate them!
They're worse than glittery vampires and hairy terrorists!

I was listening to a lengthy BBC interview of a Pakistani talking about Osama
Bin Laden's plans to attack small U.S. cities, but every time he said, "Cities"
it sounded like, "Shitties" and it somehow did two things magically; It made me
giggle at something possibly horrible and it made me make a list of shitty
cities I've lived in that I wouldn't mind seeing attacked, as long as only the
shitty residents were hurt.

I found some Udder Creme that dairy farms use on cow udders to keep their
nipples soft and supple, a whole tube for $1. I wanted it because in this heat
my elbows have become chaffed, but as I was rubbing it on last night as I was
listening to my wedding music mixtape and by the time I got to Lady Gaga's "Just
Dance" I realized I had used the entire tube all over my hardened nude body. Now
I feel like a big thick tit with a slick sticky dick!

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...it causes the worst back and neck pain, however my cheekbones look great! The
things I do to be as attractive as I can be! I wish women understood the lengths
I go to please them.

I just discovered that when I'm on the toilet, if I sit with elbows on knees,
palms on face, by the time I'm done with my business and see my beautiful face
in the mirror over the sink as I wash... I'll find that I have the most awesome
looking cheekbones!

Then all the circulation in my legs has been cut off and I can barely stand up
because my feet are numb.

Happy Mother's Day! I miss you, mommy! It's because of you that I want to be a
good man, even when I'm a bad boy.

I used to pick up girls by speaking with a fake British accent, when I lived in
London chicks didn't care for an American accent, now I have to use a Scottish
accent from time to time... I wish women would just love me as I am! I hate
being forced to be fake!

http://www.latimes.com/health/boostershots/la-heb-foreign-accent-20110505,0,7...

I hate reading and posting bad news, but the other Jessica's mother, Jeannie was
watching a marathon of Rudolph Valentino films when I asked her if she had seen
this in the news. This can happen if you name your kid after a sex symbol and
they can't live up to it. Why can't all rapists get life sentences? Is that too
much to ask?

http://www.macon.com/2011/05/06/1551010/macon-man-guilty-of-raping-nanny.html

This is such a scary world sometimes! An American judge has been accused of
advocating corrective rape for lesbians.

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2010/11/26/us-judge-says-lesbians-can-be-cured-by-m...

Sometimes I get down and sad about the way things are going in the world, but…

All I want to do is make people laugh so hard that they'll accidentally fart. I
don't know why, but when I get them going and a fart pops out, it's like a
standing ovation! Once I got a whole auditorium going and then I couldn't
breathe, my eyes started watering and I fell off the stage. So it's not always
fun. Sometimes my humor is a curse and a heavy responsibility.

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